Addicted to Speed

Spring is in the air! More sunshine, longer days, beautiful outside weather and no more long, cold nights. Spring also brings various demands to our schedules: baseball tournaments, dance recitals, award ceremonies, cheer competitions, softball games and the like. It is my favorite time of the year, but it can also turn into one of the most stressful times of the year as we find ourselves rapidly going from here to there and everywhere with our many commitments. It’s almost as if we have become addicted to speed.

In his book, The Hurried Child, David Elkind states that “Today’s child has become the unwilling, unintended victim of overwhelming stress—the stress borne of rapid, bewildering social change and constantly rising expectations.” One of the themes of his book is that we are living in a culture that is changing so quickly that our children are being forced to wrestle with issues and stressors at an earlier age than ever before. One of those issues is that of busyness.  

I have been given the privilege of working with students and their parents in the local church for over half of my life. A common question that I ask both of those groups is “How are you doing?” Simple question…common question…and the answer is similar in both groups: “I’m good, but I am so busy!”  

To be honest, that is a response I find myself using quite often as well. Is being busy bad?  Not necessarily. There are always tasks that need accomplishing, responsibilities that need fulfilling and things that need doing.  However, I wonder if sometimes we almost take pride in how busy we are. Could it be that we receive some type of satisfaction as we silently compare how much ink is on our calendar when compared to someone else’s calendar? (Yes, I still use a paper calendar!)

So, what are we to do? Do we just quit all sports and activities? I don’t think that’s a great answer. Do we stop doing homework, writing essays and studying for tests? Bad idea. I believe that a better option for us is to think about how we can lessen our addiction to speed and busyness and increase our addiction to quality time with our kids. Maybe that does mean some big changes in your calendar, but perhaps it means some small changes that could yield big dividends in your relationship with your kid.  

Quality time enables us to connect, understand, encourage and teach in ways that we are not currently experiencing. Here are some ideas:

1. Go on a date with your child at their favorite ice cream place.

2. Explore a playground or a park that you have never visited before.

3. Cook a meal with your child.

4. Take your child to dinner and a movie of their choice.

5. Let your child pick out a new board game for your family to play together.

6. Plan a backyard camp out.

Get the point? I’ve heard it said that sometimes we have to say “no” to good things so that we can say “yes” to greater things. So, in this season of fast-paced schedules, multiple commitments, and extremely busy days, feel the freedom to say no every once in a while. The world will continue to carry on without your doing everything. Disconnect from your phone and connect with your child instead. Your kids will remember these moments. They truly are the greater things!