A Message to Dance Dads

When it comes to dance and cheer, the focus is usually on the dancers and the cheerleaders. And that’s as it should be. But with Father’s Day just around the corner, there’s no better time to recognize all the dance dads out there. It wasn’t too long ago that The Today Show ran a story describing the great lengths to which dance dads would go to be there for their daughters.

The story talked about a 365-pound power lifting champion, a deputy at a county sheriff’s office, and a financial advisor who all found ways to show up for their dancers. They designed and sewed frilly dance outfits, built and transported stage props, and even handled hair and makeup duty when called upon. They would drive thousands of miles and spend countless hours making sure their dancers were where they needed to be, when they needed to be there. These dads were quoted over and over saying how they’d do anything in the world to be there for their daughters.

In my line of work, I often meet with dads who still have children young enough to be involved in dance and cheer. These dads come in to make sure they have plans in place to take care of their young children in case anything happens to them while their children are still young. And when I say “take care of” these children, usually the first thing we think about—before money ever comes up—is who will literally raise these children if the unthinkable were to happen.  

I explain to these dads that it is essential they have a last will and testament in place naming a preferred guardian for their minor children. A guardian is the person who would have care and custody of a child who lost his or her parents.

As dads (and their children) get older, the need for planning doesn’t go away, but the primary goals for planning might change. When parents have more to pass on to their children, and their children get old enough to, unfortunately, have their own problems in life—like bankruptcy, divorce, and lawsuits—the conversation turns toward how a parent can protect a child’s potential inheritance from these unpleasant realities. That goal is best served by using a properly drafted trust that includes protective language shielding the children and their inheritance from outside threats.

Yet another shift occurs much later in life, when the roles shift and the dance daughters must look after their dance dads. As unpleasant as it may be to think about, none of us is getting any younger, and the day will come when we cannot do for ourselves everything we could in the past. One day, it will be these dance dads who need to hitch a ride with the kids because it may not be safe to drive anymore. One day, these dance dads may not need to be solely in charge of managing the finances. One day, these dance dads may need help making and communicating healthcare decisions because of age, illness, accident, or disability.

When this time comes—and statistics tell us it’ll come for most of us—the greatest gift aging parents can give to their children is a clear, thorough, and well-thought-out plan. Power of attorney and healthcare-power-of-attorney documents are key parts of that plan. Those documents give a trusted child or other individual legal authority to help with financial management and with healthcare matters when the time comes that help is needed.  

That plan will also include a plan to keep the estate out of probate court, recognizing that a last will and testament alone cannot do that. That plan will also include some provision for long-term care when needed. There are ways to prepare for the high cost of long-term care and avoid the dreaded scenario where a parent feels he or she has become a “burden” on the children. But that planning is best started in advance and not at the last minute.

No matter your stage in life, whether you’re still an active dance dad with young children or you have grown up and reached the other end of the spectrum, you want to be there for your children. To learn more about how you can do that, check out our website, ElrodFirm.com, then call for a no-charge strategy session to learn what you can do to be there for those who depend on you the most.